


may we stay lost on our way home

by rocketshiptospace



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 11:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/912431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshiptospace/pseuds/rocketshiptospace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael sends Gavin a text: 'I need new friends.'</p><p>Gavin, who's currently looking at Barbara holding up bridal magazines and pointing at wedding dresses, saying things like 'to be honest Gav, your ass would look kick ass in this one' and 'it's such a shame you don't have boobs, because you would have an awesome cleavage in this one', texts back: 'Same.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	may we stay lost on our way home

**Author's Note:**

> this motherfucking monstrosity of a fic literally took me about three months to write (no seriously, the file this fic was stored in was created somewhere in may) but i'm finally happy enough with it to upload it. don't be surprised if i mispelled barbara's name somewhere, my fingers and barbara's name are in a complicated relationsip (i think they're getting a divorce soon) and i kept writing brabra instead of barbara :/ anyway, enjoy!

The thing is, Michael thinks as he steps on stage and the whole arena starts screaming, he never really saw this coming. None of them really saw this coming.  
  
Because he remembers when they just started off, squeezed together into Jack's tiny basement, with rackety old instruments and way too much confidence.   
  
He remembers them sounding like shit the first few times, but getting better, getting sort of good, even.  
  
He remembers playing in dodgy bars for free, just for the rush of being able to play, remembers landing their first important gig, remembers how happy they were when they got signed.   
  
But through that all, he never expected this.

He never imagined playing in a huge, completely sold out arena, on their own goddamned world tour and there are thousands of people screaming their names and it's kind of overwhelming.   
  
And then he yells "Hello London!" in the microphone and the screams get even louder.  
  
Behind him, he hears Jack's overwhelmed laugh, right before he hits the drums and sets the rhythm for their first song.   
  
Ray's guitar and Ryan's bass soon join him and Michael's grip on the microphone tightens. He flashes one last smile towards the audience and then opens his mouth to sing.   
  
And then it's all a blur of singing and goofing around and Michael is unable to wipe the smile off of his face and he feels so overwhelmed because _this is happening, it's actually happening._  
  
It's over way to soon and with one last wave towards the cheering audience they're walking off the stage and there's Burnie, their manager, clapping their backs and telling them how good they were and how much they rock and everybody laughs and cheers, because it's true, they smashed it. 

And then his bandmates girlfriends start to appear and they all walk off to their dressing rooms and for the first time all night Michael feels sort of alone.   
  
So he wanders the empty hallways of the arena, slowly getting of his performance high and disappearing into the feeling of loneliness.  
  
This happens more and more lately, this him ending up alone at the end of the night. Because all the girlfriends went with them on tour, which means he always ends up alone after a concert.   
  
One part of him is incredibly bugged by this, and the other part sort of understands it. Because after all, to most girls he is Michael Jones, as in Achievement Hunter's lead singer Michael Jones. He has yet to find a girl who has never heard of them.   
  
And it bugs him, because he knows that this way it's impossible to find someone who loves him for him, who loves him because he's Michael, and not because he is _Michael Jones_. And he wants that, wants what the other guys have, wants someone to cuddle and love and laugh with.   
  
His stroll eventually leads to him sneaking out of the building into the tiny alleyways behind the arena, trying to get some fresh air.   
  
Few feet away from the arena, he spots a group of girls walking his way. They're all wearing Achievement Hunter shirts and one of them is doing a really false rendition of 'Let's Play'. They haven't noticed him yet, but Michael immediately knows that if they do, he's going to have to take pictures and sign things, and as much he loves his fans and loves doing things like that for them, he's not really feeling like it right now. So he ducks into the nearest bar he sees.   
  
It's a crappy looking thing called 'Rooster Teeth' and Michael is kind of scared about what he's going to find inside, but once he walks through the door it turns out that Rooster Teeth is actually a really cozy looking bar, with comfortable chairs scattered everywhere, and walls covered in posters of absolutely everything. In the far back there's the actual bar, which Michael decided to head there first.   
  
Walking through the bar he notices it's rather empty. There's two guys sitting in the back playing what looks like a card game and there's two girls sprawled out on a couch on the far left drinking fancy looking cocktail things and giggling into each other’s shoulders.  
  
Reaching the bar, he finds there's nobody there. Michael simply shrugs and sits down on one of the bar stools, looking around for the bar man.   
  
"Hello!" Someone suddenly says, and when Michael turns back around, there's a guy standing in front of him, seemingly having come out of nowhere.  
  
He looks kind of disheveled, hair all over the place, cheeks slightly red and green eyes sparkling a little mischievously. "How can I help you?"   
  
Now the boy has actually said an entire sentence, Michael can hear the obvious British accent the boy is sporting. Which is not surprising, since he's currently in England. But this boy's accent has a certain tone in it and Michael is not really sure if it annoys him or turns him on. Said boy is looking at him expectantly, so he shakes the thought and focuses on formulating an answer. "Yeah, eh, I, eh..." He trails off, not sure what to say. "Where the fuck did you just come from?" He eventually blurts out, inwardly cursing his complete lack of brain to mouth filter.   
  
Luckily the boy just laughs -a wonderful sound, Michael can't help but think- and leans his elbows down on the bar. "I was looking for my phone, actually. I lost it somewhere in the past few hours and I can't really remember where..." He looks around, like the phone is suddenly going to pop up on the bar or something.  
  
"That's dumb." Michael says, and the boy simply laughs.   
  
"Especially when you know that this not the first time it's happened. Anyway, what can I get you?"  
  
"A beer, please." The boy nods and bustles around the bar.  
  
"So, what brought you to Rooster Teeth? Because I'm here all the time, and I have never seen you before, so you either just moved here and got incredibly lost, or you are a tourist and got incredibly lost."  
  
Michael laughs. "I guess you could say I'm a tourist... haven't seen much of London though, I'm kind of busy with... work." Michael hates lying, but he's pretty sure this guy has no idea who Achievement Hunter are, and Michael really likes talking to him, and it sounds kind of pretentious to go 'Oh no, I'm just here for my world tour.'  
  
"And I'm not exactly lost, I was just taking a walk and then I saw your lovely bar and I was kind of thirsty so I thought 'hey, why not go inside for awhile!' and now here I am." Michael yet again lies.   
  
The boy finishes making Michael's beer and sets it down in front of him. "You said you haven't seen much of London, right?" Michael nods. "Well, my shift ends in like an hour, so if you would like it, I could show you around? I know some nice places I could show you." The boy raises an eyebrow in question and Michael nods again, without really thinking about it. All that's occupying his mind right now is that he would really like to spend more time with this guy.   
  
"Yeah sure, I have the time and I would really like that."    
  
The boy practically beams and extends his hand towards Michael. "If we're going to be spending some more time together, I should probably introduce myself. The name's Gavin."  
  
Michael takes the extended hand and shakes it. "Michael. Nice to meet you."  
  
\--  
  
In the half hour that follows, Michael and Gavin actually talk a lot. The bar is mostly empty, so there's barely anything for Gavin to do. Michael lets Gavin do most of the talking, in order to avoid accidentally giving out things about his own rock star life, something he would like to keep from Gavin for now. People always seem to treat him differently when they find out.   
  
So he lets Gavin talk about how he used to live in Oxfordshire, where he had started a YouTube channel called 'The Slo Mo Guys' together with his best friend Dan, and had gotten quite the attention by filming things in slow motion. But then Dan had decided to go into the army and thus leaving Gavin alone in the rather boring Oxfordshire.   
  
Gavin had, quite on a whim, decided to move to London. Once arriving there, he realized he did not actually have a place to stay and had eventually wandered into Rooster teeth. There he had met Geoff Ramsey, the owner of the bar, and his wife Griffon, two Americans who had moved to London with their daughter Millie to start a new life here. Geoff and Griffon had immediately taken a liking in the slightly weird Britt and had offered him a place to stay until he would find something better. That was two years ago and Gavin still lived with the Ramsey's in their little apartment above the bar.   
  
Then Gavin continued telling about all the interesting people he had met in London and about how sometimes Dan would come back and they would film things for The Slo Mo Guys, which evolved into a story about exploding watermelons at 1600 fps and then a gruff looking man came stumbling through the door behind the bar and told Gavin that he could fuck off and that he would take it from here.   
  
The guy had a rather impressive beard and tattoos up and down his muscled arms. Michael decided then and there that he would not get into a fight with this guy. There was no way he would win that.   
  
"Geoff!" Gavin exclaimed. "Look, I made a friend!" Geoff sighed, obviously used to Gavin making 'friends', but looked up anyway and when his eyes landed on Michael, they narrowed slightly.   
  
"You know, you look very familiar." He said, eyeing Michael up and down.   
  
Michael gulped, knowing that if Geoff realized that he was Michael Jones, he would be in trouble. "Oh really?" He said, his voice slightly higher than normal.   
  
"Yeah, you do..." Geoff said, still studying Michael closely. "But then again, I see an awful lot of people on a daily base, so who knows. Anyway, I'm Geoff." Geoff extended his hand and Michael shook it, glad that Geoff had apparently decided to drop it. "Michael."  
  
Gavin, who had disappeared into the backroom to grab his coat and had missed the entire conversation between Michael and Geoff, now came back, tripping over a few crates that were stacked behind the bar in the process. "Ok, Michael and me are going to do some sightseeing, so I don't know when we'll be back. Bye!"  
  
"Be careful, Gavin!" Geoff shouted after them as Gavin pulled Michael out of the door.  
  
"Always!" Gavin shouted back, and then they were standing outside and the cold sir hit their faces and Gavin breathed in deeply. "You never really realize how stuffy it is in there until you're standing outside again." He said and Michael nodded in agreement.  
  
"Anyway, where do you wanna go? If I'm honest I'm rather hungry, so I could go for a bite. What do you say?"  
  
Michael nodded again. "Yeah, sounds good. I'm quite hungry, actually."  
  
"Good, I know a great place, not very far away from here. Come on." Gavin started walking in the opposite direction of the arena and Michael sighed in relief. He could only imagine what would happen if they would walk past the arena and Gavin would see the huge poster of Michael and his bandmates that was plastered on the front of the building.  
  
They end up at a small looking restaurant, with cozy little booths and chairs and couches covered in comfortable looking red pillows. It kind of looks like the restaurant version of Rooster Teeth.   
  
"Gus!" Gavin yells as they enter. Michael wants to tell him to shut up because he's probably annoying customers, but then he realizes _there are no customers_. Except from the guy who seems to be soundly asleep in a booth in the back. "Hey Gus! Hellooo?" Gavin continues yelling, waking up the man in the back booth.   
  
"Jesus Christ, Gav, please shut up." The guys says, groaning and rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Oh, hey Chris. Have you seen Gus?"   
  
The guy groans and waves in the direction of the kitchen before falling back down on the couch and closing his eyes again.   
  
"Thanks bro!" Gavin shouts and the guy grunts. "That's Chris." Gavin says to Michael as they walk towards the kitchen. "He's a server here but he is rather rubbish. Just sleeps most of the time. He's nice though."   
  
Michael nods and Gavin pushes the door that leads to the kitchen open. "Gus!" He yells once again. This time someone finally responds.   
  
"Yes?" A Mexican looking guy says as he steps around the corner into the kitchen "Gavin! Nice to see you! What are you doing here?"   
  
"Well, me and my friend," Gavin waves at Michael, who's still standing behind him, looking around the kitchen in awe, "were kind of hungry, and where better to eat then at your place, right?"   
  
It looks like Gus has just noticed Michael and stalks towards him, introducing himself enthusiastically. After introductions, Gus leads them out of the kitchen again, towards one of the many empty booths and takes their order, before disappearing back into the kitchen again promising their food will be there soon.   
  
"It's nice here." Michael says, looking around. "Why is it so empty?"  
  
Gavin laughs, a startlingly beautiful sound that kind of makes Michael al warm and fuzzy inside. "Well, you donut, maybe because it's one o' clock in the morning?"   
  
Michael realizes that actually makes kind of sense. After all, the concert had ended rather late and then he had spend a good amount of time hanging out with Gavin at the bar. But still, the time kind of hits him. "Hm, yeah, ok, that makes sense." He mumbles, slightly embarrassed.   
  
Gavin only laughs harder, which makes Michael feel a little bit better, because god, his laugh is beautiful. "Anyway, that's why I picked this place. They're one of the few places around here that are open all night, plus their hamburgers are to die for and the staff is really nice. Gus is an old friend of Geoff's, so that's how I found it. It's nice. Me and my friends come here a lot, actually. You know, just to chill and hang out and stuff."  
  
Michael kind of wants to say yes, say him and his friends do that all the time too, but they don't, not really. Of course, they hang out in tour busses and backstage and they have their time off where they all gather in Jack's place to play video games and throw popcorn at each other, but he does not have the thing Gavin has. He doesn't have after work hang outs at slightly dodgy but really nice restaurants in the outskirts of London, he doesn't have a huge group of friends to hang out with, doesn't really have those whole 'yeah that guy introduced me to that guy and now we're really good friends' kind of stories, he just has the three guys he's in a band with.   
  
And they're the best friends in the world, really, he couldn't ask for a better group to tour the world with. But suddenly he becomes incredibly homesick to what Gavin has, a crappy job and idiot friends and standard hang out places and it's ridiculous, it's absolutely honestly ridiculous, because there are people that would kill for the life Michael has, the glitter and the glamour and the girls.   
  
But for once Michael would like to have this simple life, where he doesn't have to worry about how he looks every time he steps outside his house, doesn't have to worry about fans attacking him when he goes shopping, doesn't have to worry about getting sick because it will affect his voice.   
  
Michael is brought back to the real world when somebody grabs his hand and slowly rubs his thumb over the back of his hand. He looks up to find Gavin looking at him with bright concerned eyes. "You alright, buddy?" He asks, and Michael can merely nod.   
  
"It's just, you looked kind of out of it." He has yet to let go of Michael's hand. Michael finds himself not really minding it that much.   
  
Michael hums kind of absentmindedly and at that point Gus arrives with their hamburgers. "Bon appétit, boys." He says, placing the burgers in front of them.   
  
Michael, who had not eaten since a few hours before the concert and thus is starving, immediately lets go of Gavin's hand and digs into his food. "Oh my god, this is so good." He moans after just one bite.   
  
Gavin smiles brightly at him, obviously satisfied that Michael likes it. "I know, right?" But Michael doesn't respond, way too busy enjoying his burger.   
  
Eventually Michael slows down on his eating and him and Gavin actually have time to talk a bit more. Gavin obviously tries to ask more question, but Michael smartly avoids them, still not comfortable with telling Gavin too much about his life.   
  
When they're finished eating, Gavin and Michael leave the diner. There is a small struggle when Gavin goes to pay and Michael refuses, instead paying for the both of them. Gavin doesn't want him too at first, but after Michael insist that he owes it to him, because Gavin was the one who decided to take him to dinner and show him this amazing place, and that he has enough money anyway, and Gavin eventually lets him.  
  
They walk the empty streets of downtown London at three in the morning, and suddenly Michael realizes he has to walk all the way back to the hotel they're staying, which is basically at the other end of town.   
  
It's like Gavin reads his mind, because at that point he says; "hey, I know it's really late and stuff, but would you maybe like it to come over to my place to get some drinks and maybe play some video games?"  
  
Michael thinks about it for a second. He knows he doesn't really have anything to do today. Actually, him and the boys were going to have a day off and then leave to go the Netherlands to continue their tour somewhere around five. So essentially, he doesn't have to be back at his hotel till around four. "Yeah sure, sounds fun.”  
  
Gavin smiles brightly and Michael doesn't regret saying yes for one second. They walk back to the bar and Michael quickly pulls out his phone, texting Ray that they shouldn't worry, that he's hanging out with a friend and that he doesn't know what time he will back, but that he definitely won't be late for their flight.   
  
\--  
  
They're back at the bar, and Gavin cheerily greets Geoff as they walk inside. Geoff is just closing, shooing out the last few customers and cleaning up a bit and promises to join them in a few minutes when Gavin tells him their plans.  
  
Gavin leads Michael through the door behind the bar up a small set of stairs, straight into a tiny, but cozy looking living room. Gavin turns to Michael and put his finger to his mouth. "We have to be silent, Griffon and Millie are asleep on this floor. We're going up two floors, where my room is." He whispers as he leads Michael towards another door with yet another set of stairs.   
  
Moments later, they're seated on Gavin's couch, controllers in hand and facing the TV screen. "I swear to fucking god Gavin, if you kill me now I will fucking skin you alive." Michael says as he watches his character on screen frantically look around for a sign of Gavin.  
  
"BOOYA!" Gavin suddenly shouts as he falls out of the sky and kills Michael's character immediately.   
  
"MOTHERFUCKER!" Michael shouts, hitting Gavin with his controller.   
  
"No, Michael please, don't, that hurts!"   
  
"YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT YOU DIPSHIT!" Michael says, as he manages to pin the Britt down on the couch, still hitting him repeating with the controller.   
  
Gavin pouts and simultaneously tries to avoid the controller. "You're mean."   
  
"Well, you're an idiot."  
  
"Sounds like you're having fun." Geoff dryly states from where he is leaning against the doorpost, watching the guys fight on the couch with a smile on his face. Neither Gavin or Michael had noticed him yet. "Mind if I join in?"  
  
So that's how Michael spends the rest of his night (or more the rest of his evening); splayed out on the couch with Gavin and Geoff, playing video games, drinking beer and trying not to murder Gavin, who turns out to be very annoying during video games (wait no scratch that, he's annoying during anything. Michael finds himself not really minding that).   
  
Eventually, at somewhere around five in the morning, Geoff says he needs his sleep and disappears from the room, leaving Michael and Gavin alone. Gavin yawns obnoxiously. "I'm kind of tired. I'm guessing you're sleeping over?" He looks at Michael with that twinkle in his eye that Michael really can't say no to.  
  
"Yeah, guess so. Bit... Early to go home already isn't it?" Michael says with a wink and Gavin laughs.   
  
"I hope you don't mind sleeping on the couch?" Gavin asks, walking through the room in an obvious quest for pillows and blankets.   
  
Michael almost tells him that he doesn't mind at all, that he has slept on much worse couches when Achievement Hunter was still pretty unknown and they had to sleep on couches, trust on people's hospitality in every town they played, because they simply did not have the money to stay in a hotel. But he doesn't say that, because Gavin simply doesn't know a thing about that part of Michael's life. Instead Michael answers with "Yeah sure, no problem." And asks where the bathroom is.   
  
Later, when Michael has sort of cleaned up and took off his pants, deciding on just sleeping in the shirt he is currently wearing, he returns back to Gavin's room to find the Britt is splayed out on his bed, seemingly asleep. The couch is covered in pillows and blankets and Michael snuggles up under them, suddenly realizing how tired he actually is.   
  
Just before he falls asleep, he hears Gavin mumble "G'night Michael." He has just enough time to mumble a goodnight back before he's out like a light.   
  
\---  
  
Michael wakes up a while later because someone is continuously poking his cheek. "Stop it." He mumbles, halfheartedly swatting at the hand that's poking him.   
  
"But Michael." Someone whines. "I want breakfast!"   
  
Michael groans and opens his eyes, to see who has been disturbing his wonderful sleep. He looks straight into a pair of sparkling green eyes and the memories from last night come rushing back to his brain. "Gavin! Good morning."  
  
Gavin smiles brightly at him and stands up, walking towards the door. "You coming? I'm pretty hungry and I believe Griffon is making pancakes."  
  
Michael hears his stomach grumble and gets up, stretching and realizing the shirt he was wearing had gotten all wrinkled over night. Plus the fact that he had been sweating pretty badly the night before, making the shirt not really wearable anymore. "Hey, would you mind if I borrowed one of your shirts? Mine's kind of dirty."   
  
"Yeah sure." Gavin walks over to his closet and pulls out a red shirt with a lightning bolt arrow on it pointing downwards along with the text 'touch my awesome button'. "This should fit you."  
  
Michael quickly gets dressed and follows Gavin down the stairs into the Ramsey kitchen, that's full of breakfast noises. "Good morning!" Gavin enthusiastically yells, stalking into the kitchen and sitting down on one of the empty chairs, immediately demanding pancakes, leaving Michael to awkwardly stand in the middle of the kitchen, kind of lost of what he should do.   
  
Geoff, Gavin and a small girl with short hair that's probably Millie are sitting at the table, all three of them demanding pancakes from the blond woman that's standing at the furnace. Her arms are covered in tattoos and she has a piercing through her nose. Michael guesses this is Griffon.   
  
At that point Griffon turns around and spots Michael standing kind of lost in the middle of the kitchen. "Ah, you must be Michael. Geoff already told me Gavin had someone sleeping over. Nice to meet you, I am Griffon." Griffon and Michael shake hands and then the woman orders him to sit down, offering him the first pancake, making the other three sitting at the table groan. Michael just smiles and starts eating his pancakes.   
  
"I'm Millie, by the way." The girl Michael already was guessing was Millie says.   
  
Michael takes her extended hand and presses a kiss to it. "Nice to meet you, my fair lady." He jokingly says, making Millie giggle.   
  
"Millie!" Gavin whines. "Hey, that's my boy! I found him first, you know."   
  
Millie sticks out her tongue out at Gavin. "I can't help it he likes me better."  
  
Gavin fake gasps. "He does _not_ like you better. Michael, tell her you like me better!"   
  
Michael, who had been laughing at the whole exchange between the two, looks kind of worried. "Would I get away with it if I just said I like both of you equally?”  
  
Both Gavin and Millie don't seem fully satisfied with Michael's answer, but apparently it's enough, because the conversation goes on.   
  
Michael finds he kind of likes it at the Ramsey breakfast table. Somehow, these people have managed to immediately make him feel at home, even though they had never met him before. And as he sits there, watching the Ramsey's follow their normal breakfast ritual, he again gets this weird feeling in his stomach. The feeling that he wants a life like this too.   
  
"Hey, what time is it?" He suddenly asks.   
  
"Just after three, why?"  Gavin responds, fork halfway his mouth.   
  
"Shit, really? Damn, I need to go!" Michael suddenly panics, quickly standing up. He thanks the Ramsey's for their hospitality, bids Millie farewell and rushes towards where he thinks the door is, Gavin in tow.   
  
"Do you really need to leave?" Gavin sadly asks when he finally manages to stop Michael from running out the door.   
  
"Yeah, my flight leaves at four and I still need to go back to the hotel to pack my stuff." Michael distractedly answers, wondering if he's forgetting anything.   
  
"You're leaving?" Gavin's voice suddenly sounds really small.   
  
"I... Yeah, I'm going to the Netherlands for a few days." Michael says, not understanding why Gavin suddenly looks so sad.   
  
"Oh, that's nice." Gavin says, avoiding eye contact. "Have fun."  
  
And suddenly it hits Michael. Why Gavin is so sad, that is. Gavin, not knowing Michael was an international rock star, had of course assumed that Michael would be staying in London a little longer. In other words: Gavin had expected they would be able to hang out a little more. Gavin had not realized he would already be saying goodbye to his newly made friend (or maybe his more than friend, Michael let his mind wander. He quickly shook it off).  
  
"Give me your phone." He says, extending his hand towards Gavin. The Brit looks at him a bit dumbfounded but does it anyway. Michael quickly types in his phone number and hands it back. "Text me. Bye, Gavin."  
  
Gavin smiles brightly when he realizes what Michael has just done and pulls the jersey boy into an unexpected hug. "Bye, Michael. Have a nice flight."  
  
Michael smiles at Gavin one more time before disappearing out the door.   
  
\--  
  
A few hours later, Michael is safely sitting in the plane. Ray is sitting next to him, head leaned against the window and snoring softly. Behind him Ryan and Jack are playing a card game.   
  
The three of them hadn't been all that happy when Michael had arrived only minutes before they were supposed to leave, but he couldn't really find himself to care. He had had a nice night and morning and he wouldn't have traded it for anything it the world. It had been nice to be just Michael for awhile.   
  
They had asked him where he had been and what he had done, of course. Michael had brushed them off by saying he had just been meeting an old friend, that it was nothing. Jack had send him a worrying look, knowing something else had happened (after all, Michael might have been a pretty decent liar, but no one could fool Jack) but he didn't question it, thrusting Michael to tell them if had been something important.   
  
The thing was, Michael had wanted to tell them about Gavin, tell them about the weird boy with the sand colored hair he had met in a dodgy bar in the outskirts of London, tell them about how in the first time in years he had pure and honest fun with someone beside his bandmates, but he couldn't find himself to do it. Because for some reason, he wanted to keep Gavin his little secret, he wanted to keep Gavin to himself for awhile.  
  
After all, he didn't even know if he was even going to see the guy ever again. He had handed him his phone number, yeah, and he had looked rather happy with it, but Michael didn't know if he was going to use it.   
  
He sighs and plugs in his earphones, turning up his music in hope of drowning out his on slaughter of thoughts.   
  
\--  
  
In the mean time, back in London, Gavin was freaking out.  
  
After Michael was gone, he had gone back to the kitchen and talked to the Ramsey's for awhile. After that he had played video games with Millie for awhile, but now he was lying on his bed, staring at his phone.   
  
A new text screen was opened, Michael's number already filled in, but the text box itself completely empty.   
  
The problem was, he _wanted_ to text Michael, he just didn't know _what_. Because for some reason he really wanted to make an impression on him. Despite them having just spend only one day together, Gavin had really enjoyed it and had gotten quite sad when he had found out Michael had to leave so soon already.   
  
So he wanted to text Michael, but he didn't want to freak him out or scare him away, because he kind of wanted to keep him as a friend.   
  
Eventually he settled on: _Hey Michael, this is Gavin! How was your flight? Landed safely?_  
  
He placed his phone on the pillow and took a deep breath. Now he just had to wait for a reply.   
  
\--  
  
When Michael gets of the plane he is immediately shoved into a car, only to arrive at the venue ten minutes later. There they have to sound check, Burnie freaking out because apparently they are late and they still need to do a costume check and check into the hotel and sound check is taking way too long and "We don't have the time." (Michael thinks then when this whole world tour is over they owe Burnie a bouquet of flowers. A really big one. With like a bazillion flowers.)  
  
That night when Michael sings the lungs out of his body, he once again cannot believing how he ended up here, how the fuck this happened. It's kind of magical, all of it.  
  
The show ends and it's the same old, really. The other boys leave with their girlfriends and Michael end up alone. Absolutely drained (from the night of performing plus the few hours of sleep he had the night before) he just decides to go to bed.   
  
Back at the hotel he all but takes his clothes off and falls on his bed, drifting off in a deep sleep.   
  
His phone, having fallen out of his pocket when he took off his pants, lays abandoned on the floor, signaling he had a text from an unknown number for the past few hours.  
  
Michael hadn't seen it.   
  
\--  
  
"For the love of god, Gavin, please stop pacing." Barbara groans from her spot on Gavin's bed. It's the next day, it has been a day since Gavin texted Michael and he still hasn't texted back.   
  
Gavin ignores her, continuing to circle the room while simultaneously trying to chew of his fingernails. "There's probably a logical explanation, right? About why he hasn't texted back yet? Something probably came up, or maybe he lost his phone, or maybe he fell asleep or maybe he just hates me or-“   
  
Barbara cuts him off by grabbing his leg from when he walks past the bed, toppling him over.   
  
"That hurt." Gavin miserably comments from his current place on the floor.   
  
"That's what you get for being a whiny idiot." Barbara says, trying very hard not to laugh. "The poor boy probably hasn't had time to text back yet, seriously Gav, it's been a day, give the poor boy some time."   
  
"No, that's dumb. If he doesn't have the time, he should make the time. I'm important and I need to be texted back." Gavin huffs.   
  
Barbara throws a pillow at his face. "Have patience, little grasshopper. The good comes to those who wait."   
  
Gavin sends her a dirty look. But just when he's about to tell her what he exactly think about her stupid ass wise words, his phone lets out a bleeping noise.   
  
For a second, the room is silent. Gavin and Barbara's eyes meet and they both leap for the phone.   
  
\--  
  
Michael wakes up feeling actually really well rested. When he checks the clock on his nightstand, he sees it's already 2 pm.  He knows that he doesn't have any band related things to do till five, when they have an interview, but he gets out of bed anyway, not wanting to waste his day in there.   
  
Rummaging through his room he accidently kicks something under the bed. He huffs, annoyed, but leans down to fish it from under there anyway.   
  
When he's on his feet again he sees it's his phone and upon unlocking the device, he discovers a text message from an unknown number: _Hey Michael, this is Gavin! How was your flight? Landed safely?_  
  
He smiles, happy that Gavin had apparently liked him enough to make use of the phone number he had put in his phone. He bites his lip, thinking about what to text back. It takes a bit of typing, backspacing and typing again until he's satisfied with his text.  
  
 _Hey Gavin, plane landed safely. Just woke up from an excellent night of sleep (because even though I love spending my nights talking to weird British guys and playing video games, I also rather enjoy sleeping). Now of to see some of Amsterdam. How's England? X_  
  
He refuses to think about the added x, arguing in his head that he sends x's to all his friends and heads off to take a shower and get dressed.  
  
\--  
  
Of course Barbara reaches the phone first and now she's sitting on the bed reading the text while simultaneously trying to fend of Gavin, who's very ineffectively trying to pry the phone from her hands.   
  
"Aaw, he so cute!" She squeals when she finishes reading the text. "Seriously Gav, where do you find these guys? Because I definitely need to go there sometime. I demand you take me there next time we have the day off."  
  
But Gavin doesn't answer, to busy reading the text on the finally confiscated phone. And rereading the text. And then rereading again to make sure he's seen it right. He lowers the phone and looks at Barbara, who's still lying on the bed saying something along the lines of "I swear you have a pit of incredibly adorable boys somewhere that you refuse to tell me about and it's not fair."  
  
"He added and x." Gavin states and Barbara looks up.   
  
Barbara looks up and shrugs (which looks weird because she's still partially lying down but Gavin is too shocked to even laugh at her) "Yeah, so? I add x's to my texts all the time."  
  
Gavin shakes his head. "Yeah, but you're a girl. As far as I know, Michael is a boy. Boys don't add x's. Unless they're texting their girlfriend or their mother, that is."  
  
"You mean that..." Barbara's eyes start to sparkle and Gavin immediately regrets everything he has said in the past few minutes. "He wants you to be his boooooyfriiieeend." She adds in a sing song voice and Gavin buries his head in his hands.   
  
"I hate you."  
  
Barbara gasps. " You want him as your boyfriend too! Oh my god this is glorious. This is, oh my god, we are writing _history_ here, Gav! Years from now on your wedding, we will talk about this day and laugh at it and _this is awesome_."  
  
Gavin throws a pillow her way. It misses.   
  
"Michael Free. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Or maybe you'll take his last name. After all, you've always seemed more like the girl, to be honest. What did you say his last name was again?" Barbara continues, unfazed by the pillow.   
  
"Jesus Christ, Barbara, _shut up._ I've literally met him yesterday, we had dinner and played video games and then he flew off again. I don't even know if he's gay, so please, for the love of god, _stop planning our wedding._ "  
  
The sparkle doesn't fade from Barbara's eyes, not even the slightest. "But you do like him."  
  
Gavin sighs. "Yes. Yes, I think he's cute and I hope this whole thing turns out to be something great but please, let’s not over do it."  
  
Barbara nods solemnly. "So... What would be better as the centerpiece of your wedding reception: roses or tulips? Personally I was thinking tulips, because I once read somewhere those stand for perfect love and I mean, you and Michael..."  
  
This time the pillow hits her full in the face.   
  
\--  
  
"You are fucking kidding me." Ray says, upon entering the dressing room. It's a few weeks later and the boys are currently finishing up their world tour in America (finishing might be a big word though. America is fucking huge and they still have quite a lot of venues to do) and Michael is sitting on the couch texting (surprise, surprise) Gavin.  
  
"Hello Ray." Michael says, without looking up from his phone.   
  
"I swear to god you are glued to your phone ever since we left England and it's kind of freaking me out. Seriously, who do you keep texting?" Ray says, sitting down next to him.   
  
"No one." Michael mumbles. He still hasn't told the other guys about Gavin, even though they've been constantly texting.   
  
The thing is, Michael kind of wants to keep Gavin to himself. He's funny and dorky and an absolute idiot and he pisses Michael off but he's really cute and Michael might have developed a bit of a crush on the Britt (but he will deny this even though you hold him at gun point) and he feels like if he shares Gavin with his bandmates Gavin will realize there are cooler people then Michael on the planet and he will stop talking to him and there's also this really tiny thing about Gavin still not knowing Michael is in one of the biggest band on the planet right now (he wants to tell him, really, it just never seems to be the right time).  
  
"Michael? Are you even listening?" Ray says, poking Michael's shoulder and shaking him from his thoughts.   
  
"I, yeah, ehm, no." He mumbles and Ray sighs.   
  
"I said that I was worried about you, you spend all your free time on your phone and you barely talk to anyone anymore, seriously Michael, who is so important that you abandon game night for it?"   
  
Ray's referring to their weekly game night on Wednesday evening, that Michael hadn't showed up to last week because Gavin had skyped him and he had completely forgotten the time and before he knew it it was 1 am and Gavin had fallen asleep on his keyboard and he had about fifty texts from his band mates wondering where he was and why he wasn't at game night. Michael had responded with a simple 'was skyping with a friend and forgot the time'.   
  
Michael sighed, knowing he can't talk himself out of it anymore. "Fine. His name is Gavin and I met him in England. We've been texting back and forth for awhile."  
  
Ray stares at him in silence for awhile. Suddenly he hits Michael across the head. "You absolute dick! You had a boyfriend all this time and refused to tell us about it? I thought we were your best friends I thought..." Ray gasps, " _I thought you trusted us._ "  
  
"Wow, wait, what?" Michael asks, confused and Ray stops dramatically flailing his arms around to look at Michael. "He's not my boyfriend."  
  
Ray starts laughing. He stops when he notices Michael doesn't join in and frowns. "Wait, you weren't kidding? Are you serious right now? Have you seen your face when you're texting that guy? Have you seen your face when you just pronounced his name? If he's not your boyfriend, you at least have a major fucking crush on him."  
  
Michael sighs. He sometimes forgets how well Ray knows him. "I'm not gay, though." He very weakly tries.   
  
Ray sighs. "For the public you aren't, no. And I know that is hard for you. But please don't pull that crap on me. I've known you liked guys long before you did. Anyway, tell me more about this Gavin guy. Is he attractive? Please tell me he's at least attractive."  
  
Michael laughs and as he pulls out his phone to show Ray a picture of Gavin he had send him awhile back, he wonders why he hadn't told Ray about Gavin sooner.   
  
\--  
  
"Aaw, is Michael texting his Gavvy wavvy again?" Jack coos as Michael pulls out his phone during the boring car ride towards the next town they're performing.   
  
"Oh Michael I miss you so much my little Michael, please come home soon." Ray says in a really bad British accent, Ryan adding kissy noises to it.   
  
Now he remembers why he hadn't told Ray sooner: the guy is horrible at keeping anything from the other two, meaning they knew everything about Gavin within a day and had then taken it upon themselves to annoy Michael endlessly about it.   
  
"I hate you. All of you." He mutters, no real venom behind his words.   
  
He sends Gavin a text: _I need new friends_.  
  
Gavin, who's currently looking at Barbara holding up bridal magazines and pointing at wedding dresses, saying things like 'to be honest Gav, your ass would look kick ass in this one' and 'it's such a shame you don't have boobs, because you would have an awesome cleavage in this one', texts back: _Same._  
  
\--  
  
"You know Barb, as an admittedly straight person, you spend an awful lot of time on the bed of a gay man. I'm sorry to inform you of this, but no matter how strong your vaginal powers are, I don't think they're capable of turning me straight." Gavin notes, from the couch, as he looks at Barbara reading girl magazines on his bed.   
  
"I know it's kind of sad, but unfortunately you're the only remotely nice guy that willingly wants to spend time with me. When I think about it, it's kind of depressing, really. Seriously, where is my Michael? What do I have to do to meet a cute world traveling guy that seems rather funny and likes to play video games and have I already told you I'm jealous of you?"   
  
Gavin laughs and at that point his phone bleeps. Recently he has started keeping his phone close to him rather than somewhere in his room (even though he still loses it from time to time. Old habits die hard) so he unlocks his phone to see who it is (who is he kidding though: of course it is Michael).   
  
Well, at least it's Michael's number, but the text is not from Michael itself. The texts reads _Hey Gavin, hope you're having a good day, here's a picture of Michael sleeping. Greetings, Ray. Ps. It was nice knowing you by the way, because Michael is definately going to murder me when he sees this._ attached to it is indeed a picture of a sleeping Michael.   
  
He feels bad for Ray (Michael has told him about the guy before and he sounded like a nice dude), but he can't help but squeal because /god, he looks adorable./ On the picture he is curled up on the couch, his hair poking out of a black beanie and _he is wearing Gavin's 'touch my awesome button' t-shirt._ Gavin kind of feels like he's going to die.   
  
But before he can turn into a puddle of 'oh my god he is adorable' and 'oh my god he is wearing my t-shirt', Barbara has snatched the phone from his hands and stares at the text.   
  
"Gavin." She says and it sounds very serious and it kind of scares him. "Gavin, is this a picture of the Michael you've been texting? Is _this_ your Michael?"   
  
Gavin nods. "Yup, that's him."  
  
Barbara drops the phone and it skips across the floor but before he can say anything about it, Barbara is on top of him and hitting him and _what._  
  
"You dick! You stupid bag of dicks! Why didn't you tell me it was _him_? Seriously you are the biggest bag of dicks you've ever seen and I hate you! I. Freaking. Hate. You." She punctuates every word of that last sentence with a punch to his gut.   
  
"Ow, Jesus Barb get off, you're hurting me!" Gavin says, trying to grab her hands to stop her from hitting him but miserably fails.   
  
"Oh, am I hurting you? Well, now you understand how I feel! You are practically dating Michael goddamn Jones and you didn't even tell me!"  
  
Gavin stops fighting her and sends her a confused look. "How do you suddenly know his last name?"   
  
Barbara finally stops hitting me and groans. "Seriously Gavin? How do I know his name? The entire goddamn world knows his name, that's why!"  
  
Gavin looks even more confused. "What? Where the fuck are you talking about?"  
  
Barbara stares at him, long and hard, and suddenly her eyes widen. "Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. He never told you, did he? And you didn't know, of course you didn't know because you're Gavin and I don't think you've ever listened to a radio or top 40 songs ever so _of course_ you didn't know. And for some reason he wanted to keep it a secret, god knows why, so _he didn't tell you_." Gavin has never seen her face more shocked. Personally, he's just getting more and more annoyed.   
  
" _What_ , Barbara, _what_ didn't he tell me? Because I'm kind of lost right now and your babblings aren't making much sense to be honest." He glares at her and she sighs, crawling off him and properly sitting down next to him on the couch.   
  
"First things first, I'm pretty sure your answer is going to be no, but just in case: have you ever heard of the band Achievement Hunter?"  
  
\--  
  
Michael was confused and worried. Though he himself didn't always immediately texted back, Gavin almost always immediately texted back; the longest he had ever taken to text back was maybe a day. But now it had been five days without any word from Gavin.  
  
Currently, he was blaming all of this on Ray. Because ever since Ray send Gavin that picture of him sleeping and _this was all Ray's fault._  
  
So while simultaneously being mad at Ray, he was also worried about Gavin, because what if something was seriously wrong? Michael knew the guy was dumb enough to seriously injure himself or something like that and Jesus _what if he was dead?_  
  
So that was the reason Michael was spending every free moment he had texting and calling Gavin (like he didn't already do that anyway) but they all went unanswered.   
  
After another night of pointedly and very childishly ignoring Ray, who must have apologized for the millionth time, he was sitting in his hotel room, aimlessly browsing his computer to find things to do. If he was honest he had no idea what he had done with his free time pre Gavin anymore.   
  
When he scrolled through Skype to see if anyone interesting was one his eye suddenly caught Gavin's name and he clicked it without thinking about it.   
  
After clicking he realized Gavin would probably not respond, but he tried anyway. He was about to click away when Gavin's face appeared on screen. Michael let out a surprised yelp and accidentally kicked the laptop of the bed.   
  
He quickly grabbed the thing again and repositioned it on his lap, catching the last of the faint smile that had slipped on Gavin's face. "Hello."  
  
"Hey." Michael breathed, taking in Gavin properly now. He looked more like a mess than normal, if that was even possible. His hair looked rather flat and droopy, compared to its normal gravity defying powers and his eyes looked tired. "How are you?"   
  
Gavin frowned. "You are a dick, Michael Jones."  
  
Michael scrunches up his eyebrows in confusion. "What? Why?"  
  
Gavin huffs. "Oh, I don't know, maybe for not telling me you are in a goddamn world famous band."  
  
Oh. _Oh._ Suddenly Michael understands it, why Gavin had been ignoring him, why he looked like shit right now, it was because he had found out Michael was famous and he felt betrayed. He had every right to be, Michael thought. "Shit Gavin, I-" But Gavin interrupts him.  
  
"Spare your words Michael. I know where I stand now. Here I was, thinking we were friends, thinking we were getting along pretty well and then suddenly you've been keeping an entire part of your life from me. A very important part, even." Gavin stops to look at him and his eyes look even sadder than they did before. "Maybe it's better if we stop talking to each other. I mean, how can I ever trust you when you don't even trust me about something like this?   
  
“What did you think Michael, that I was going to treat you differently just because millions of girls want in your pants?" Gavin shakes his head, "well obviously you don't know me well enough otherwise you would've known I would never treat you differently, no matter how famous you were. I like you for _you,_ Michael, and I wouldn't have cared about your fame at all. So, I guess this goodbye." Gavin says and Michael sees him move to close the window.   
  
"No, Gavin, wait!" Michael shouts and he sees Gavin momentarily freeze. "Please let me tell you my side of the story too. Please."  
  
Gavin looks at him and nods swiftly. "Fine. Talk."  
  
Michael takes a deep breath. "The night we met Gavin, I never told you why I was out there, did I?" Michael laughs dryly and shakes his head. "No of course I didn't. It would've given out to much. Well, the reason I was out there was because we had just had a concert at the O2 and afterwards all the other guys went back to the hotel room with their girlfriends and I just felt... lonely.   
  
Because you might not get it, or think I sound douchy, but having someone that likes you for you, that want to be with you because you're _you_ and not because you're famous is kind of hard in this business. People like me because I'm Michael Jones, lead singer of Achievement Hunter and rarely really like me for me.   
  
So that night I was walking around London kind of pondering about that and then I fled into your bar because I saw some fans walking and I wasn't really feeling it and Jesus, I just make myself sound more and more like a douche." Michael pauses and looks at the screen but Gavin just motions him to continue.   
  
Michael takes another deep breath. "Anyway, I ducked into Rooster teeth and there you were and you just popped up in front of me and you confused me but you made me laugh at the same time and I immediately knew you didn't recognize me and you made me feel save, Gav. For the first time in awhile I felt safe, because I knew you weren't going to sell me out to the press, because I knew that for some reason, you like me for my personality.   
  
And that felt so great, Gav. And then we kept texting and I got along so well with you and fuck, I didn't want to ruin that, ok? I wanted a true and honest friendship and therefore it turned out not true and honest at all.   
  
I see it now, that I should've just trusted you. Because you wouldn't have judged me, never. You would've laughed at me, maybe, made jokes about it, but you wouldn't have changed your opinion about me and you wouldn't have treated me differently. I'm sorry Gavin. I understand you are mad, you have every right to be, but please, _please,_ give me another chance. Having you as a friend has been one of the best things in my life and I don't think I could live without you anymore.  
  
Just look at me in the last few days, when I thought you were ignoring me and had no idea why. I was _miserable_. I haven't talked to Ray in days because I thought the picture he had send you was the reason you wouldn't talk to me, I had no idea what to do with all my free time because it was normally spend texting you. You, over the past few weeks, have creeped into my life and you became a part of it and I don't think I could handle you leaving, Gav. I'm pretty sure I kind of really need you." Michael lets out a shaky breath.  
  
"So please, Gavin, if even the slightest part of you is willing to forgive me, please, please do."  
  
"Jesus Christ, Michael, stop being such a goddamn sap, will you? It's all right, I forgive you." Gavin says with a laugh, but Michael sees him wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "Seriously, Michael, I get it. I guess when I found out I just felt kind of betrayed, but I think I can see where you were coming from. Just, please promise me one thing."  
  
Michael nods. "Anything."  
  
"Let’s promise never to have secrets for each other ever again."   
  
"Promise." Michael says, sticking out his pinky. Gavin sticks out his pinky too, but because there a thousand miles between them, they're stuck awkwardly waving their pinkies in front of the camera.   
  
Gavin laughs. "Wow, ok, that was dumb. Anyway, now we've established we're never having secrets for each other ever again, there's something I need to tell you." Gavin leans closer to the screen and looks Michael straight in his eyes. "I used to have long hair. Like past my shoulders long."  
  
Michael is torn between face palming and laughing. "I, wow, eh, well that is a big secret and I'm glad you told me that." He says, trying very hard to hold his laughter.   
  
Gavin, who obviously notices Michael's attempt of trying not to laugh and huffs. "No, you don't understand. That is a dark period of my life that I never ever talk about. It's my darkest secret."  
  
Michael shakes his head, fond smile on his face. "You're an idiot, Gavin Free. An absolute idiot."  
  
\--  
  
"I think I'm in love with him." Gavin says, poking his pancake. Him and Barbara had decided they needed a change of scenery and were currently sitting in Gus's restaurant.  
  
"I KNEW IT!" Barbara exclaims and Gavin immediately shushes her.   
  
"Jesus Christ Barbs, the entire world doesn't need to know." He hisses at her, glaring.  
  
"Sorry, sorry." Barbara says with a slight blush on her cheeks, obviously haven forgotten they were in public. "It's just, _I knew it._ So what made you realize it? I mean, just yesterday you were cursing him into next year because he never told you he sold out big ass venues within minutes. I'm pretty sure you told me you were never going to speak to, and I quote, “rinsy little prick" ever again."  
  
"We... talked, last night. He called me on Skype and, I don't know why, but I answered and we talked. And Jesus Christ Barb, you should have _heard_ him. Seriously man, the guy could get away with murder. Anyway, he asked me if I could please give him another chance and I said yes and you should have seen his face, I mean, no one has ever looked at me like that, Barb. Like I was everything he needed in life and like I was the best thing on the planet and Jesus, I'm in love with him."  
  
"Great, so, ok, I was thinking a June wedding, because in June it's warm, but not too warm and June is a nice month don't you think? But I was thinking somewhere in the middle of the month, otherwise it's too close to both of your birthdays. What do you think?"  
  
Gavin sighs. "I think you need to stop with the wedding planning and focus on the nearer future, things as: Michael Jones is not actually gay."   
  
Barbara dismissively waves her hand around. "We'll work on that."  
  
\--  
  
Michael likes parties as much as the next guy, especially parties with lots of alcohol and drunken people and loud music.   
  
Hollywood parties, on the other hand, not a big fan. Mostly because before these kind of parties there are movies with red carpets and Michael _hates_ red carpets.   
  
But still, there he is, his arms slung around Ray and Ryan, smiling at the photographers that are taking picture and trying very hard not to murder anyone. They're at the premiere of some weird ass romcom that Michael doesn't give two shits about but a lot of their famous 'friends' (aka the people they are photographed with a few times for publicity) star in it so they can't not show up.   
  
"Just a few more hours, Michael." Jack whispers in his ear, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as they walk a bit further on the red carpet.   
  
Michael smiles faintly and nods. "I know, I know."  
  
A few minutes later Michael is very tempted to tear the head off of the next photographer that shouts "Michael! Over here!" when he suddenly hears a loud squeal and he has his arms full with Lindsay Tuggey.   
  
Lindsay, who also stars in the movie they're currently at the premiere of, is one of the few people in the industry that Michael genuinely likes. They've met a few times before and they always have a lot of fun and Michael genuinely enjoys her company. She was actually one of the first people (after Ray) to figure out he was gay, and has been nothing but great about it.   
  
They don't see each other much, always busy, but they talk on the phone a lot and Michael considers her as one of her best friends.   
  
"Lindsay!" He happily exclaims and wraps her in a bear hug. "How is my favorite little actress?"   
  
Lindsay lets go of him and straightens her dress. "Wonderful, my darling. How are you?"   
  
Michael grins. "Splendid. And we have a lot of catching up to do. Would you mind accompanying me to the after party so we can talk?"   
  
It's like Lindsay sees in his eyes that he has something important to talk about and nods. "Yeah sure. But first, movie premiere." She extends her arm and he hooks his through it and they continue their walk over the carpet.   
  
Michael suddenly doesn't mind red carpets all that much anymore.   
  
\--  
  
"Now tell me, what's bothering you?" Lindsay says, sipping from a very pink looking cocktail with a rainbow colored umbrella. Michael already gets a tooth ache from only looking at it.   
  
They've found a sort of secluded bench at the after party and are now sitting there. Every now and then someone walks up to them to tell Lindsay she was awesome (and Michael agrees on every single thing they say because Jesus fuck, she _nailed it._ Michael would like to give her all the Oscars. Unfortunately, the Oscars are not his to give away (but maybe that's a good thing)).   
  
"Well, I've told you about Gavin right?" Michael starts and Lindsay nods. Michael had talked to Lindsay about him right after he told Ray.   
  
"Ehm, I'm pretty convinced I might be a tiny bit in love with him or something." He blushes and looks down and Lindsay squeals.   
  
"Oh my god that is so _cute._ " She flails her arms around and squeals again. "So? What now? You gonna tell him?"  
  
Michael's head shoots up and he quickly shakes his head. "No, no telling, never telling. He's probably not into dudes and if he was, he wouldn't be into me."  
  
Lindsay raises her eyebrow. "You are kidding right? Seriously everyone is in love with you, man or woman, straight or not."  
  
Michael shrugs. "They're not in love with me though. They're in love with the image of me."   
  
"Oh honey," Lindsay says, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "that's not true. There are enough people that love you for you. And seriously, Gavin would be a fool not to like you back."  
  
Michael sighs. "Yeah, still prefer to keep this quiet for now. Could you do that for me?"  
  
Lindsay frowns at him but shrugs. "Fine, for now. But you can't walk around with these feelings forever, just remember that."  
  
Michael smiles and gives her a quick hug. "Thanks, you're the best."  
  
Lindsay gives him a smile too. "I know."  
  
\--  
  
When Michael wakes up, his phone is ringing. He groans and rummages around his night stand and fishes the device from there, quickly picking up. "Hello, Michael speaking." He croaks into the phone.   
  
"Michael! Michael, thank god you picked up." The voice from Burnie says from the other end. "You, Michael, are a genius."  
  
"Good morning to you too, Burnie." Michael says, a bit annoyed. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"  
  
"Well, you know how we were getting in trouble because we hadn't had any scandals or relationships or whatever in awhile, right?" Michael did not know this but he has learned long ago that he should just let his manager talk and occasionally nod or hum a yes.  
  
"And now there you are, plastered over every goddamn newspaper with that Tuggey girl! Brilliant!"  
  
"What?" Michael says, still not fully understanding what is going on.   
  
There's a silence on the other line before Burnie speaks up again. "You haven't seen it yet?"   
  
"Haven't seen what?"  
  
Burnie sighs. "Well, basically there's pictures of you and Lindsay from yesterday all over the newspapers. A few from the red carpet, a few from you two hugging at the after party, a few of you two leaving, everyone is going _mental_. They're all speculation about whether you're dating or not. It's _fantastic._ "  
  
"But we're not dating." Michael states.   
  
"Yes, Michael, I know that, you know that, Lindsay knows that, but the press doesn't. So I already discussed it with Lindsay's manager and we've decided it would be best if you two said nothing about it, no denying and no confirming and the press will just keep guessing and it will be great publicity."  
  
"But I don't actually have to date her? Just be vague about it?" Michael asks.   
  
Burnie sighs, exasperated. "Yes, Michael. Just be vague. Get us some publicity. Your tour ended and it's another three months until your next album comes out, this will be great to keep you in the spotlight. Also, there have been a lot of rumors about your sexuality lately and this is great to battle those down."  
  
Michael suddenly feels all the life drain from hid body. "Do I have to, Burnie? Can't I just tell everyone the truth? I hate lying to my fans and you know that."   
  
"I'm sorry kid, you know we can't. We can't risk it. You know I hate this just as much as you do, but the rest of the management team is convinced is going to ruin your reputation. You're the main man, the hot shot and we need to give all those teenage girls that are a fan of you the idea that they actually have a chance." Michael can hear in Burnie's voice that he's just as happy about the whole thing as Michael.   
  
"I know Burns. Thanks anyway."   
  
"It's ok, kid. Now, enjoy your day and remember: you aren't dating Tuggey, but you are also not not dating her."  
  
"I'll remember. Bye, Burnie."  
  
\--  
  
"So, guess what?" Barbara says, storming into Gavin's bedroom.   
  
Gavin doesn't even look up at her, just continues to play his game. "One of these days you're going to storm in her and I'll be wanking or something and we will both be scared for life."  
  
Barbara shrugs. "Your point?"  
  
Gavin glares at her. "Please just knock next time."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I have more important things." She says, falling down next to him on the couch.   
  
"Please, do tell, I'm insanely interested." Gavin says, keeping his eyes locked on the screen.   
  
"You will be when you hear who it is about." Barbara says, holding up one of her girl gossip magazines. "Because it seems like we're going to have to postpone the wedding."  
  
Gavin finally looks up and there it is, front page, Michael with some red head that looks vaguely familiar, laughing at each other and looking insanely cute together. Underneath it is the text: "Michael Jones and Lindsay Tuggey; more than just friends?"  
  
"Guess he's not gay after all. I'm sorry about your wedding Barbs, I knew how excited you were about that." Gavin says, focusing on his screen again.   
  
"You... Aren't you upset?" Barbara asks, sounding slightly surprised.  
  
"Why would I? Michael is a grown man, he can date whoever the fuck he want. It's not like I own him or anything. Besides, she's cute." On the screen his character explodes into a million pieces. "Oh, bullocks."  
  
"Hey Gav?" Barbara says, voice sounding soft, like it barely ever does.  
  
Gavin tears his eyes from the screen to look at her. "Just tell me if there's anything, ok? Because I know you're not ok right now, but I also understand that you don't want to talk about it. Just tell me if I can do anything, ok? I'll just leave you alone right now, then." She stands up, presses a kiss to his forehead and leaves the room.   
  
The sound of her footsteps has barely disappeared before Gavin is throwing his head in the couch pillows and screaming as loud as he can, the sound sounding muffled by the pillows.   
  
The thing is, he never expected him and Michael to become a thing. Years of being gay had taught him that the cute ones were either straight or taken. But lately, especially after the whole 'discovering Michael's big secret thing' Gavin had felt him and Michael were getting even closer and he sometimes even wondered if Michael was flirting with him or not.   
  
But that was all shattered now, because Michael was dating that beautiful red head and they were obviously perfect together and Gavin hated his life.   
  
The biggest thing bothering him was that Michael never mentioned Lindsay to him, ever. It was yet another secret that Michael didn't want to share with Gavin and he felt betrayed. They had promised no more secrets and Michael hadn't kept it.   
  
Gavin was done. No more Michael for him. Michael was out of his life. He resolutely grabbed his phone and deleted all of Michael's messages, along with his phone number.  
  
Michael Jones no longer existed in Gavin's life.   
  
\--  
  
Michael might actually be going mad.   
  
Gavin is ignoring him again, that much is clear and yet again he has no idea why. It's turning him into a grumbling mess of mad and sad and the other band members are picking up on it.   
  
Jack had looked at him with that 'I'm worried about you' look and told me that if he wanted to talk about it, he would be there for him. Ryan had walked up to him with a few drafts of songs that could possibly go on their new album in an obvious attempt to distract him. Ray had wrestled him to the ground and demanded him to tell what's wrong, but instead of fighting back and screaming to Ray to get off of him, Michael had just shrugged.   
  
On top of whatever was going on between him and Gavin, there was also the whole Michael/Lindsay thing. Every single interview they did, interviewers asked the same goddamn question: "So, Michael, you and Lindsay, are you two dating?" And every single time Michael would just laugh and say: "She's a wonderful person, Lindsay."   
  
So basically he's about 350% done with everything right now.   
  
"You know, Michael, I'm pretty sure it's not that pillows fault that Gavin is ignoring you." Lindsay says one afternoon while Michael is very ineffectively trying to slam his pillow to death. The tour is over and Michael has a few weeks off, which he of course spends at home skyping with Lindsay.   
  
Michael sighs and throws the pillow away. "Right, yeah, I know." He sits down on the bed again, facing Lindsay. "But then what is? Like seriously Linds, what did I do wrong?"  
  
Lindsay sighs and fidgets with her fingers. "You are not going to like the theory I have for this, but I've been thinking about it and I think that I know what's wrong."  
  
Michael frowns. "Go on."  
  
Lindsay takes a deep breath. "Well, I've been calculating it and Gavin has been ignoring you ever since those pictures of us appeared in the magazines." She pauses and looks at him, like she's waiting for him to figure it out himself. When she sees the utterly confused look on his face she sighs and continues. "Which would mean, like you know maybe, maybe he saw those articles Michael. And let’s be, let’s just assume that he's in love with you."  
  
Michael goes to interrupt her but she holds up her hands to shut him up. "No listen to me. Let’s assume he's in love with you, ok? Now imagine the person you were in love with splattered all over these magazines with this girl you've probably never even heard of. What would you feel, Michael? Betrayed probably, because apparently he is dating someone he never even told you about. He kept secrets from you, again."  
  
Lindsay sends him a stern look and Michael looks down in defeat. "But most of all you would feel insanely heartbroken, wouldn't you? Because the guy you're in love with apparently has found someone better than you, someone who's pretty and cute-"  
  
Michael interrupts her. "You did not just say that about yourself.”  
  
Lindsay huffs. "Shut up Michael, I'm trying to get my point across. Now, where was I? Right, pretty and cute and very much female and your heart would just shatter in a million pieces because well, obviously he doesn't need you, doesn't want you. Just think about it like that ok? Put yourself in Gavin's shoes for a change."  
  
Michael scrunches up his nose in disgust. "I'm pretty sure the dude has Nike air max, so no thanks, I would preferably not place myself in his shoes."  
  
Michael is very glad there is a computer screen between them because Lindsay looks about ready to slap him into next year. "Jesus Christ, Michael! That is not the point! The point is that Gavin is in love with you and you have broken his heart and if you even feel the slightest thing for that idiot you hop on a plane right now and fly the fuck over there to explain and apologize." Lindsay says, sounding very annoyed with him.   
  
"Right. Yeah, right. I, yeah." Michael says, suddenly a lot more serious about the topic. "Yeah, I think I'm going to go do that."  
  
\---  
  
Michael is going to murder Lindsay when he's back home, because this was the stupidest fucked up idea ever.   
  
He's currently standing in front of the door of the Ramsey-Free residence and he might actually die from nerves. And if he doesn't die from nerves he's probably going to be murdered by Gavin. Or god, _what if Geoff opens the door?_ Yeah, Michael is toast.   
  
But he is here now anyway and he has flown all the way to England to see the dumb idiot and he's not going to back down now. So he takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell.  
  
There's a lot of noise coming from the other side, the sounds of someone crashing into something, then cursing and then the door gets swung open by a pretty looking blond girl.   
  
Michael and the girl stare at each other for awhile and then the door gets slammed in his face.   
  
Michael stares at the closed door, insanely confused and having no idea what exactly is going on. Or who that girl was. Or why she is at Gavin's house.   
  
He turns to walk away when the door suddenly swings open again. "You are Michael Jones." The girl says and Michael turns to look at her.   
  
"Yeah, yeah I am."   
  
The girl crosses her arms and looks at him with squinted eyes. "What are you doing here?" It doesn't sound curious, just hateful, like he has no right to be here.   
  
"I, ehm, came to see Gavin." Michael mumbles, looking at the floor. The girl kind of scares him.   
  
"Oh, really now?" She cocks her head to the side, not budging.   
  
"Yeah, I ,ehm, I'm sorry, but who are you?" Michael asks.   
  
The girl huffs. "I'm Barbara, I'm Gavin's best friend and I can assure you he does not want to see you right now."  
  
"Barbara. Right." The name sounds familiar and Michael knows Gavin has mentioned her before. "I'm sorry Barbara but I really really need to speak to him, so please? I have some explaining to do and I fucked up and I flew all the way from America to England to tell him that, so _please_ , please let me talk to him. Please."  He looks at her with what is hopefully a convincing sorrowful look.   
  
"Oh Jesus Christ, Gavin was absolutely right about you being able to get away with murder I mean, _look at that face._ " She huffs and steps aside. "Fine. Go talk to him. He's upstairs."  
  
Michael smiles at her, but as he is he about to pass her she suddenly grabs his shirt collar and hauls him forward. "But if you hurt him I swear to god I will cut of your balls and make them into cupcakes, understood?"  
  
Michael nods weakly and she lets go of his shirt. "Good. Go get him." And with that she walks out of the house, leaving Michael alone in the hallway.   
  
\--  
  
"Jesus Christ Barbs, took you long enough. Who was it anyway?" Gavin says as Michael steps into the room. Gavin is sitting on the couch, with his back to the door, playing video games.   
  
"Me." Michael says and Gavin drops the controller and turns around so fast he almost falls of the couch.   
  
"Oh my god." Is all he manages to say.   
  
"Hey, Gavin."   
  
Gavin glares at him and crosses his arms. "What are you doing here?" Yet again it doesn't sound curious, just angry. Michael wonders if anyone in England is ever going to welcome him nicely. He doesn't think they will. He probably deserves it.   
  
"I, well, fuck, I might have some explaining to do." Gavin just stares at him and Michael takes a deep breath. "The girl on the picture? That's Lindsay. We're not dating. We're just friends, but the paps got pictures of us at some movie premiere and suddenly everyone assumed we were dating. Which is stupid, because she's obviously not my type, let alone the right gender." Michael looks up at Gavin and sees his eyes are widened and his mouth is slightly hanging open.  
  
"You wanna know what my type is, Gav? My type is definitely male, preferable someone from another country, especially British, I _love_ British accents. Other than that I like messy hair, green eyes, dumb made up words, squealing noises, do I need to continue?" Michael is shaking with nerves by now and Gavin just stands there, speechless.   
  
"I- oh Jesus, you just described me, didn't you?" Gavin stutters out when he finally regains his speech.   
  
Michael laughs shakingly. "I might have, yeah."  
  
A smile spreads across Gavin's face and suddenly he's standing right in front of Michael. "You wanna know what my type is, Michael?" He asks and his breath ghosts over Michael's face.   
  
Michael can only nod.   
  
"Definitely male, preferably American. Curly hair, definitely curly hair. And brown eyes, I'm a sucker for brown eyes. Also I would very much like it if he would be in a world famous band. That would be nice."  
  
By now, Gavin had placed on of his hands on Michael's cheek and the other on his hip and they were inches away from kissing.   
  
"You just described me, didn't you?" Michael whispers and Gavin just hums and then they're kissing.   
  
It's not fireworks or sparks or any of that romantic shit. It's just a press of lips, nothing special. But Michael, for the first time in weeks, feels like coming home. Knows that it might be hard for them, because it's definitely not going to be easy, but that he's willing to go through it all as long as he has Gavin at his side.   
  
\--  
  
"I cannot believe we are actually here." Barbara said, squeezing Gavin's arm.   
  
Gavin bit his lip, trying to ignore the pain his best friend was causing him. "I know, Barbs. You've mentioned that like ten million times by now.   
  
It's a year since Gavin and Michael actually got together and Gavin and Barbara are currently standing back stage at Achievement Hunter's _Madison Square Garden concert_ and Gavin is pretty sure Barbara is freaking out more than he is.   
  
They're not the only ones here, some of family members and girlfriends of the boys are standing there too. Gavin spots Lindsay in the crowd too and waves at her. She smiles at him and waves back.   
  
"Who are you waving- oh my god is that Lindsay Tuggey?" Barbara squeals and squeezes Gavin's arm again. "Oh my god she is so cute, I love her! Oh my god now she's coming over here, what do I do, Gavin, _what do I do?"_  
  
"Just be yourself, Barb. You will be fine. She's only an Oscar winning actress, no big deal. Anyway, I'm going to see if I can find Michael. See you later." And with that he walks away, leaving a blubbering Barbara behind.   
  
"Michael!" He exclaims, as he sees him talking to Ray.   
  
"Hey babe." Michael says with a smile on his face. Gavin wraps his arms around him from behind and Michael immediately leans into it, visibly relaxing. Gavin knew that even though he didn't show it, Michael was incredibly nervous.   
  
"So, you guys ready?" He asks Ray and Michael and the two nodd, albeit a bit shaky.  
  
"We'll rock this place." Ray says, his voice slightly wavering. "I'm gonna go look for Ryan and Jack, see you two in a minute."  
  
"I'm nervous." Michael mumbles as soon as Ray is outside ear shot. He turns in Gavin's arms so he's facing him and Gavin can see the worry in his eyes.   
  
"Oh come on, Michael, I know you will rock this. I know you will, because you always do. In half an hour, you're gonna get out there and you're going to sing the lung out of your body and everybody will love you because _the always will._ Seriously Michael, you could go up there and sing the Macarena and they would still love you. So stop fretting and start focusing on having fun. All right, love?"   
  
Michael smiles and gives him a quick kiss.   
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
\--  
  
Michael absolutely nails it. Of course he does, Gavin thinks, as they stand and applaud for the end of the song. Achievement Hunter leaves the stage and the crowd starts screaming.   
  
"WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE."  
  
The boys storm back on stage and Michael grabs the microphone. "Hey, Madison Square Garden, what about we play you one more song?"  
  
The entire venue explodes with screams and Michael smiles, waiting for everyone to slightly calm down again. " So this is a new song called 'That old London bar' and it's dedicated to someone who's very dear to me. This one's for you, Gav, I love you."  
  
Everybody around Gavin start screaming again and Michael just smirks and Jack hits the drums for the first notes and then the music washes over him but Gavin isn't getting any of it, his attention purely focused on Michael, who has closed his eyes and started singing, this fond little smile on his face and _Jesus, Gavin loves him so much._  
  
The show has ended and Gavin tries to leave the venue to go backstage and press kisses all over Michael's lovely face but there's people everywhere and suddenly a hand grabs his arm and drags him into a quieter spot.   
  
It's Barbara, who he hadn't seen after leaving her with Lindsay. She's beaming at him and her eyes sparkle. "Hey Gav, so, turns out I might not actually be as straight as I thought I was." She says, jerking her head in the direction of Lindsay, who stands a few feet away from them and waves shyly.   
  
"What, you and Tuggey?" Gavin asks, surprised. "So, you're what, bi-sexual now?"  
  
Barbara thinks about that for awhile, but then shrugs. "I don't know man. But I'm currently definitely Lindsay-sexual if that's what you were wondering about. Anyway, I just came to tell you me and Lindsay are going to get some drinks, will you be fine on your own?"  
  
Gavin nods and Barbara turns to walk away. Gavin grabs her arm just when she's about to disappear in the crowd and pulls her back. "Wait, one more thing. I know you had most of my wedding already planned, but does that also mean you know where I can get a kick ass engagement ring?"  
  
The squeal of delight Barbara produces is louder than anything Gavin has heard all night. And that is saying something.  
  
\--  
  
When Michael steps off stage, Gavin is not there, but all the other girlfriends are and once again he is alone. He sighs and accepts the towel one of the employees hands him and wipes his face with it. He knew he shouldn’t have dedicated a song to him, knew he shouldn’t have writtena song about him _._ Now he has scared Gavin off and he’s alone again.  
  
Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrap around his middle and he is pulled into a slightly taller, warm body. Someone presses a kiss to his hair and spins him around so they’re facing each other.  
  
It’s Gavin (of course it is Gavin) and they smile at each other and Gavin presses a kiss to his lips. “I love you, Michael Jones, I love you so so much.” He whispers  
  
“I love you  too, Gavin Free.” Michael whispers back, smiling up at his boyfriend.  
  
And for the first time Michael realizes that no matter what he does or what he says or wherever he goes, Gavin will always be there. 


End file.
